Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
