Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
