I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Are we still banned from the library?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
