um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
