I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
