im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
