I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's official drugs can't kill me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
