GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
