So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
