I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We are all done wearing pants today
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