Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize