so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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