I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
