He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
