I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
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