Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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