One girl and one boy is just not enough.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
