Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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