There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
