oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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