I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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