no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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