my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
