I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
