I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
