Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
