I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
