Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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