I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
