I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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