I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im holly from the hills drunk
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
