at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
