True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I will be naked everywhere
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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