Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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