Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
