Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
