He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
