The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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