ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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