Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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