so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
only you would photoshop your dick
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
