i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
