Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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