so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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