I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize