CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
