there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
