we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
