I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize
