Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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