he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
