found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
