I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
