why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
