i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
