but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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