Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize