ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize