I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
