yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
