Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
