They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
